Intro was clear, I could clearly understand your main idea through clear enunciation. Maybe coin the term "territoriality" in your first voiceover Shreya's voice was quiet in her first voiceover. Retake the part when your battery went low. Great analysis when you talk about the principle reading the note. This is well juxtaposed with your analysis of Fender's movement towards the frame. Your concluding voiceover tied together the idea very well.
Your claim was very clear and distinct, but I feel like most of the analysis after the intro didn't really relate to the main idea. I think part of the earring clip analysis related, and part of the analysis with Bender walking toward the camera related. Otherwise, I felt like you had some good points, but couldn't really see how it was relevant to your claim. I think you could go more into their stereotypes, and talk about how the form reveals or accentuates the overcoming of their stereotypes. Also with the Vernon scene, go more into why the director wanted us to see him that way, since he was the one doing most of the overall stereotyping anyway. Also just a quick mention on the audio, Shreya's part was pretty quiet and both parts went kind of slow for me. So maybe speak louder/closer to the mic and try to talk at a more natural pace. :)
Intro was clear, I could clearly understand your main idea through clear enunciation.
ReplyDeleteMaybe coin the term "territoriality" in your first voiceover
Shreya's voice was quiet in her first voiceover.
Retake the part when your battery went low.
Great analysis when you talk about the principle reading the note. This is well juxtaposed with your analysis of Fender's movement towards the frame.
Your concluding voiceover tied together the idea very well.
Your claim was very clear and distinct, but I feel like most of the analysis after the intro didn't really relate to the main idea. I think part of the earring clip analysis related, and part of the analysis with Bender walking toward the camera related. Otherwise, I felt like you had some good points, but couldn't really see how it was relevant to your claim. I think you could go more into their stereotypes, and talk about how the form reveals or accentuates the overcoming of their stereotypes. Also with the Vernon scene, go more into why the director wanted us to see him that way, since he was the one doing most of the overall stereotyping anyway. Also just a quick mention on the audio, Shreya's part was pretty quiet and both parts went kind of slow for me. So maybe speak louder/closer to the mic and try to talk at a more natural pace. :)
ReplyDelete